Healthy Relationships and Consent

Hand lettered words "We Are All Worthy of Love Dignity and Respect" in a blue gradient

We are all worthy of love, dignity, and respect in our relationships.

Healthy relationships are built on good communication, fun and fulfillment, equality and partnership, enjoying personal time/freedom, respect, trust, honesty, and conflict resolution.

If you are concerned about how you are being treated or do not feel safe in an intimate partner relationship, you are not alone. Reach out for confidential support.

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Relationship Checklist

Two people smiling together below the words Love With Trust on a light blue background with flowers
Two people seated together below the words Love With Independence on an orange background with leaves and gourds
Two people hugging and smiling at each other below the words Love With Respect on a purple background with flowers
Two people hugging below the words Love With Boundaries on a light green background with flowers

Think of a relationship you have and use the checklist below to assess which of these areas are strong and which may need some attention. It can be helpful to do this on your own and with your partner(s).

After completing this checklist, take some time to ask each other:

  • What are the strengths of our relationship?
  • What do we want to work on together?
  • What can each of us do to build a healthier relationship?
  • How can we start that process?

Good Communication

  • We talk openly about our relationship
  • We listen to one another and try to understand one another
  • We talk openly about sexual and reproductive choices, desires, preferences, and boundaries
  • We tell each other how we are feeling
  • We communicate together about the needs of the child(ren), as well as the needs of the parent(s), if we are parenting

Equality/Partnership

  • We give and take equally in the relationship
  • We share in making plans and decisions together
  • We each work on the relationship
  • We have equal say with regard to finances

Respect

  • We value each other as we are
  • We care about each other's thoughts, feelings, and identities
  • We celebrate each other’s successes
  • We honor and celebrate each other’s identities

Trust and Honesty

  • We can be our true selves with one another
  • We can believe what each other has to say
  • We can speak our own truths openly without fear, even when it feels hard
  • We respect each other’s right to privacy and personal boundaries
  • We admit when we are wrong
  • We are honest about our actions, feelings, and intentions

Fun/Fulfillment

  • We genuinely enjoy the time we spend together
  • We make each other laugh, can be playful, and have fun
  • We feel encouraged to pursue and achieve our goals and dreams
  • We want to continue to be in the relationship

Personal Time/Freedom

  • We enjoy spending time apart, alone, or with others
  • We support each other’s need for individual interests and respect each other’s need for time apart
  • We encourage each other to stay connected to family and friends

Consent and Safety

  • We talk openly about sexual and reproductive choices, desires, preferences, and boundaries
  • We continuously check in and ensure there is a genuine desire in all physical, intimate, and sexual interactions
  • We care for one another’s personal well-being and do not put one another in harm’s way

Conflict Resolution

  • We expect to have disagreements
  • We respect that neither one of us is always right
  • We compromise when possible
  • We discuss the real issue when a conflict arises in a safe and respectful way
Two people sitting together, one of them holding a flower, below the words Consent Is More Than a Yes, Consent Is Listening
Two people hugging and laughing below the words Consent Is More Than a Yes, Consent Is Active Collaboration
Two people hugging and smiling below the words Consent Is More Than a Yes, Consent Is Checking In
Two people hugging and smiling below the words Consent Is More Than a Yes, Consent Is a Genuine Desire From All Involved

Helpful Resources