Healthy Relationships and Consent

Hand lettered words "We Are All Worthy of Love Dignity and Respect" in a blue gradient

We are all worthy of love, dignity, and respect in our relationships.

Healthy relationships are built on good communication, fun and fulfillment, equality and partnership, enjoying personal time/freedom, respect, trust, honesty, and conflict resolution.

If you are concerned about how you are being treated or do not feel safe in an intimate partner relationship, you are not alone. Reach out for confidential support.

Survivor Advocacy Services

Relationship Checklist

Two people smiling together below the words Love With Trust on a light blue background with flowers
Two people seated together below the words Love With Independence on an orange background with leaves and gourds
Two people hugging and smiling at each other below the words Love With Respect on a purple background with flowers
Two people hugging below the words Love With Boundaries on a light green background with flowers

Think of a relationship you have and use the checklist below to assess which of these areas are strong and which may need some attention. It can be helpful to do this on your own and with your partner(s).

After completing this checklist, take some time to ask each other:

  • What are the strengths of our relationship?
  • What do we want to work on together?
  • What can each of us do to build a healthier relationship?
  • How can we start that process?

Good Communication

  • We talk openly about our relationship
  • We listen to one another and try to understand one another
  • We talk openly about sexual and reproductive choices, desires, preferences, and boundaries
  • We tell each other how we are feeling
  • We communicate together about the needs of the child(ren), as well as the needs of the parent(s), if we are parenting

Equality/Partnership

  • We give and take equally in the relationship
  • We share in making plans and decisions together
  • We each work on the relationship
  • We have equal say with regard to finances

Respect

  • We value each other as we are
  • We respect each other’s opinion and values
  • We celebrate each other’s successes
  • We honor and celebrate each other’s identities

Honesty

  • We admit when we are wrong
  • We can be our real selves with one another
  • We are not afraid to tell each other the truth

Fun/Fulfillment

  • We genuinely enjoy the time we spend together
  • We make each other laugh, can be playful, and have fun
  • We feel encouraged to pursue and achieve our goals and dreams
  • We want to continue to be in the relationship

Enjoying Personal Time/Freedom

  • We enjoy spending time apart, alone, or with others
  • We respect each other’s need for time apart
  • We encourage each other to stay connected to family and friends

Trust

  • We believe what each other has to say
  • We do not feel the need to “prove” each other’s trustworthiness
  • We do not invade each other’s privacy

Conflict Resolution

  • We do not expect to agree on everything
  • We respect that neither one of us is always right
  • We compromise when possible
  • We discuss the real issue when a conflict arises
Two people sitting together, one of them holding a flower, below the words Consent Is More Than a Yes, Consent Is Listening
Two people hugging and laughing below the words Consent Is More Than a Yes, Consent Is Active Collaboration
Two people hugging and smiling below the words Consent Is More Than a Yes, Consent Is Checking In
Two people hugging and smiling below the words Consent Is More Than a Yes, Consent Is a Genuine Desire From All Involved

Helpful Resources